You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
