that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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