I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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