it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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