brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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