thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
