Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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