Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
