Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
