oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
