Already got asked if we're dating
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
