He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The uberlube is also flammable
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
