I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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