We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
