Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
