One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
