So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
