Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
