I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
