I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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