I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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