can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
