I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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