U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
