ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
