If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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