I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
