I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
