I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
