we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
