It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
