she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
