Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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