All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
