I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
