if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
