i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
