Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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