I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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