Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Who did Billy Mays play for?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
