Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
