My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
