He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
