And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am midnight drunk by noon
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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