the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
