I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
