so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
