I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
