Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
4 words: hood of his car
i think i have herpe
just one?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
