he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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