i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
