Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
