I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize