I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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