32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
