He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
